“Therefore the Lord waits to be gracious to you, and therefore he exalts himself to show mercy to you. For the Lord is a God of justice; blessed are all those who wait for him.” Isaiah 30:8 (ESV)
In order to have a good flower garden, you will need to find a good sunlit spot in the yard; till the soil with mulch and fertilizer, push the seeds half-way down in the dirt for root growth, cover them up delicately, then water it. Then, nurture the soil and wait for the expectations.
A few days go by. At last! You see tiny green baby sprouts coming up out of the well-nourished soil. It is so beautiful and exciting to see the little small petals on top of the soil singing to the sun. But what you didn’t see was the process that the seed went through. Seed germination was taking place under the soil. This developing stage process is so important as the seeds must go through this phase before it turns into a beautiful flower for all the world to see.
Seeds wait until all their needs are met such as water, temperature, and good soil, then germinate. Beautiful flowers are then developed out of the waiting process.
What if our relationships worked the same way as seed germination? While we are waiting prayerfully and patiently for a loving relationship with the right person, God is delicately molding, shaping, and preparing us for our “true love” to arrive. Just like the seed, we can’t see under the surface of what God is doing in us, but something beautiful is about to take place. Trust in the wait! You are God’s gift to the world!
It’s true that waiting can be so hard! Waiting is stressful, but we must learn to wait with patience. Don’t get impatient waiting for God to send Boaz or Beautiful. Some of us get so desperate about being lonely, that we want to marry the first thing that comes along in a pair of tight jeans or daisy dukes! Stop chasing Bozo and Bimbo and wait for Boaz or Beautiful! Just because they smiled and winked at you doesn’t mean they are “the one”!
Don’t move too fast going from one relationship to the next. Take time to think. Sometimes we feel like we are stuck in a world of loneliness. We want to justify getting married because everybody else in our circle is married. Just because your friends are married doesn’t mean that everything in their marriage is all peaches and cream.
If we rush the “wait process” and step out of God’s plan, we become exposed, tainted and underdeveloped. If a seed is underdeveloped during the germination process, the seed is fragile, breaks up, and growth is aborted. It just lies dormant. So will the relationship, if you move too fast from a previous failed relationship. Don’t abort your destiny!
“… See how the farmer waits for the land to yield its valuable crop, patiently waiting for the autumn and spring rains. You too, be patient and stand firm.” James 5:7-8 (NIV)
The Wait Process –
“I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord”. Psalms 27:13-14
Get to know the person you are dating. Selecting a partner is a gradual process that begins with dating and moves on to a lengthy time of courtship. Longer courtships allow you to evaluate your compatibility and could possibly lead to greater expectancy of marriage.
As you continue to meet other new prospects, you will know which budding relationship will bloom into something beautiful and which ones will either wither or die on the vine. When a relationship is dead on the vine, don’t’ continue to water it, just let it go. Weed them out!
Talk to God. Write down the qualities of the partner you are looking for in a spiritual journal. Does the person you are interested in add to your spiritual growth? Do they fit in with God’s plan for your life? Healthy and godly relationships enhance self-esteem and self-worth. When you think you have found “the one”, refer back to your spiritual journal for confirmation.
Establish common interests. Build upon a strong relationship by doing something you both enjoy. Focus on pleasurable outside activities. Connect with other couples. Be willing to share ideas and open up with each other. Effective communication is a crucial key to success in every relationship.
No sex before marriage. This is one of the most difficult steps of the wait process. You’ve heard the idiom: “why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free”. So why get married when you can get all the good loving you want for free and without commitment? Listen boo-boo, sex before marriage does not guarantee a ring. No ring, no ding-a-ling! The consequences of premarital sex can lead to emotional baggage such as betrayal, mistrust, disappointments, diseases, and unwanted pregnancies.
“And that means killing off everything connected with that way of death: sexual promiscuity, impurity, lust, doing whatever you feel like whenever you feel like it, and grabbing whatever attracts your fancy. That’s a life shaped by things and feelings instead of by God. It’s because of this kind of thing that God is about to explode in anger. It wasn’t long ago that you were doing all that stuff and not knowing any better. But you know better now, so make sure it’s all gone for good: bad temper, irritability, meanness, profanity, dirty talk.” Colossians 3:5-8 (MSG)
Last, don’t be afraid to say “I’m not ready”. If you are still in a tailspin from a previous relationship, then you are definitely not ready for another relationship encounter. Understand what happened in the last relationship, learn from those mistakes, close the door, then proceed, but slowly. When you tell someone “I’m not ready”, it doesn’t necessarily mean you are afraid, but it means that you are strong; you are willing and determined to take your time, get it right and wait for your blooming season!
True love requires waiting